Thursday, February 4, 2016


Superheroes in movies from the past have flipped and flopped, it's hard to figure out if it will be good based on its material or if it's a parody of their genre (I'm looking at you Puma-Man!). With the recent production of films centralizing in the Superhero genre, it's not really a genre, though it's labeled as such because of the influx of hero flicks. Superhero films aren't new, the label is new, there's been fantastic heroes taking on eerie villains since the 30's with film serials. These features were fantastic, though made with children in mind, they were low budget and created with passion. There was a boom in the contemporary market with Superman 1978 and Batman 1989, then incursion of comics selling well. The 90's created a huge development and generation that wanted to see heroes and be super, be better, have a life greater than one's own. Though that's where it loses its heart, in the years to come and still coming strong, there will be superhero movies that don't have a voice or a need or a fanbase to have it made into a motion picture. This is one of those films that were generated and people hoped that it would be strong enough to stand on it's two feet. Will Smith is a great actor and an action comedy legend, this was a no brainer for anyone who's followed his career, though I think it's more the role's fault, since it felt like even the poster is unfinished.

Initial response, I hate the poster. Flat out no imagination went into making this poster, it was like they hadn't seen Will Smith in a week and they needed to shoot something and plaster his face on it. Like he wasn't in shape to be the character anymore or was on a different shoot and just needed a headshot to make their posters. Really though, what was up with that DVD Cover and Poster campaign, it was horrible and tells me nothing about the character or the film I'm about to see. It was like someone pitching the idea "Our main hero, he wears" frantically he searches the office with his eyes as this man in a suit and tie explains to people with more money than he'll have in a life time "sunglasses?" the figures labeled the Producers make no gesture "and a hat, so we know he's trying to be low-key about his life, because…" he needs a hook, this man is running and screaming for something in his mind to add, so the meeting isn't a bust, he never thought they'd let him back in with the last film he pitched about Goldfish reliving religious-like experiences till a street smart Eagle  happens in their life to turn things around, no that's not gonna happen today, no I'm a warrior, I'm the idea master, I'm the hero-- that's it "he's a superhero!" the room shifts, it's quiet, more empty than before, something about it feels like there's no one in the room, like these shadowy figures are just his imagination. It's the Goldfish idea all over again, why can't he think of something that will work in film? Then a figure leans into the light "You mean like Superman, kid?" he's shocked to see a face, though needs to answer "Wha- YES, yes Superman. Well not Superman, but superman-like, since we don't have the rights to him. We can make this our studio's Superman and retain all of the money and rights" he offers the idea to the Producers, this has to work, this has to get my film made, I'm not going to sell all these Eagle hats "Sounds like a winner, kid. We'll have a meeting about it, though find a star for the flick and get us a first draft in a week." They want it! They want it, of course they want my idea, I spent a lot of time thinking of it. Microfiche, I need an actor and a script! Lucky for this fellow there were two really talented people that wanted to make a film. I looked at the credits of who wrote and directed the film, but that still doesn't make me want to see the movie, based solely on the trailer and poster.

Gom showing the office the VarpMun, a special way to travel.
Keep pitching that crazy machine you... crazy little machine.

And within the first 2 minutes of the film we see a drunk man on a bench (Will Smith), this is our hero, Hancock not saving the day. Bad guys are shooting up the highway, while Hancock is firing a snot rocket. Also he's called an asshole twice as we hear the classic censored song "Move Bitch (Get Out Da Way)", classy movie. Then we have our hero sit in the backseat of the villains' car, I think the vehicle was made of playdough, it's somehow able to drive. Hancock tries to calm the shooters down, in a drunken haze. Then he's shot, after having his bottle of booze shot out of his hand, movie over right, nope. He picks up the car, that's now made of metal, and starts making slurs about the Asian shooters.

It's 5 minutes 21 seconds, this is the time of the movie that I want to leave.

For some reason Hancock is dragging these guys all over the City in their SUV, to then drop them on a tall building, impaling their mode of transportation in the process. Like the car would fly away from a 60 story building, but just incase. That really would have made the film more interesting, having a villain in the flick that was as fantastic as the hero. We cut to a bar where exposition is being doled out about our hero. Again, I'm not really seeing why this is a good film or why it should have been a film at all.

We're joined with our problem solver, from the way things are leading up it's a buddy cop movie. We have the reckless rogue cop (Hancock) and now the person from another side of the world, a man that's not within the profession that our hero takes place in and shakes things up for him for the better. The all heart symbol, looks just like the poster, no imagination used, no designer, it's like someone just doodled it with their non-dominant hand and hoped that it wasn't gonna be used often in the film (it's used in most of the film, all the way to the end).

Then the two meet, the one is a failed PR man (I think this movie knows this position well) and a failed superhero, though is a good superhero, since this failed PR man was saved by Hancock before the train smashed into him. Though Hancock threw his car into other cars, perhaps killing or harming other people, then stopping the train with his is body, destroying a vehicle and causing more traffic, the root of the problem in the first place. I'm guessing the 2000's version of this 90's "Man with attitude" is asshole, just straight up jerk. As we see Hancock literally drop the PR man and car off at his house, where the PR man's kid is alone, playing with his dog and toys instead of playing with the neighbor kids, as the film suggests he wants to do. This is something that the movie plays with, either the characters and the world are cartoon like, so a man dropping from 30-40 feet from the air in their car will not hurt them and dramatic issues. Neither of these are focused on, since it feels like completely different writers worked on it. I did a little research and found that this flick has gone through a bunch of rewrites and changes. This doesn't excuse it, but it does create problems with the film and character continuity. Is this a comedy from the 60's where bombs and guns don't kill people or is this a grim drama where life isn't what the movies make it out to be. Throughout the film there seems to be this tug of war between a few parties on what this movie really is going to be about.

After the car dropping scene it just feels like a sketch comedy, like this was all supposed to be in a show as back-up stories, like it wasn't quite thought out yet. But it was good enough for this type of media? Just fun gags that didn't need a reason to exist other than the thought of having a drunk superhero and someone that can ad-lib well. The Wife comes out of the house, in an amazing outfit, well more amazing than most people I know that just throw on something to relax. Then Hancock and her share a moment, it's weird, like they know each other before now (I didn't see the movie till now, so good acting on Charlize Theron and Will Smith). The PR man offers him dinner and doesn't take no for an answer, also the kid is super weird, but that perfect kinda weird that's adorable, though still odd.

Hancock's a dangerous drunk, the mother knows best and her name is Angel. Ray (PR Man) wants to change how people see Hancock. For some reason Ray wants him to be seen better, since Hancock from what I've seen has well intentions, but doesn't know how to express them. Why doesn't Hancock just go to an island to be free of all of them mumbo jumbo, though I think that's the thing about this character, he needs to help people, because he cares about people. We see him in a trailer, in a location, and a box that seems to mean the world to him, no real reason to why this box has significance, but that's called foreshadowing.

The bully that was mentioned at dinner calls Hancock asshole five times, this is the seventh in the film. Also throwing the kid into the air and catching him like that would have killed him. Twenty-four minutes and 15 seconds, we come to the word that was used in the pitch "Asshole" then we add the conjunction that it's a Superhero or the term that was used Superman, now let's put it together Asshole Superman, that's right my kin, this is the elevator pitch that got this movie made. We have a Superhero that's a well meaning drunk that screws up and has to get his life back together. It's light hearted and fun, but that's all this is, the same joke for an hour. This is no Meteor Man, that was a good film about a Black Superman-like hero, it was 90's as crop-tops and flannel, but it had heart and the idea of what made life worth fighting for.

Hancock is going to jail, it's an interesting idea that the hero that's saved so many lives has to go to jail, but at the same time this happens in our reality too. Personally I think it will help him with his booze problem, since he seems to want to get better. Two weeks in jail won't solve the problem, but it will be a start. Again will Ray's wife see a change in him and want to divorce Ray to marry Hancock or have they met somewhere before. It's weird the way she keeps staring at him, like they were/are romantic.

Now we get to see the nameless villains that he has put in jail, as he is in jail for the time being. This would have been more interesting if he had a montage of moments saving the day and is now in the same facility as the ones he put there. I don't know why he's in maximum security if he's only staying 2 weeks, but here he is in the worst place for a person that put most of the people around him away. What do they think they'll do to him, do they think they'll hurt a man that can't be shot?

The funniest and most Human Centipede moment was the running gag of shoving a man's head up another man's ass. It's about 30 minutes into the film and we're at the peak of everything that this movie promised to do and what got it pitched/produced.

Time passes and Angel see Hancock with the son. Again the wife gives him this weird stare down, like she's trying to do something with Hancock, I'm not sure what, but something, it's weird. Anyhow the wife tells Hancock that her husband (who somehow has these connections with the government) is making all of this work, so that he (Hancock) needs to appreciate what he's doing for him. He's a question, why doesn't Ray try to find all of the people that Hancock saved and get them together to give positive messages to not only Hancock, but to the LA public. Wouldn't that push the resolve and force the hand of the police to let him out, since the crime rate is rocketing out of control? It's like they shot with only an outline of what's gonna happen, then hope they can fix it in post.

Anyhow, we see glimpses that the eagle has something to do with two people, assuming that's why he's so nice to Ray's kid is that Hancock lost his own, that's also why he drinks. We all have a way to forget, though this isn't the most healthy or sane way to do so, but why does the booze effect him at all? There's a lot of questions behind this character and the origin of the character. About 39 minutes and this was the role that was pitched to Will Smith "I'm Hancock and I drink and stuff" honestly I don't think that's too far from the truth.

Gom showing the office the VarpMun, a special cream-lime way to travel.
Keep pitching that crazy machine you... crazy little machine.

The cops can't handle a problem in LA so they call in Hancock to help out. Guns are blazing and people are in danger. We have the Superman-like music start playing (the only time this happens), he drops down from the sky, it's the first time in the film that he's not destroyed anything. Also he looks like Black Lighting… so now it's Superman dressed as Black Lightning, sign… I mean if you're gonna steal from DC at least use the right hero, Icon would have at least been closer than a hero that generates electricity as their power. Now we see a bit of hero action as Will Smith steps by a giant eagle statue, bullets flying everywhere as he stops missiles and such while saving police.

Then Hancock just takes the villains from the building, grabs them at super speed from the building, no problem, no necks broken because of the speed he's flying at through tempered glass windows. The villain, says asshole one too many times and Hancock takes off his hand, that was holding the trigger so all the people with the bombs strapped to them don't die. The people of LA cheer for the rescue of the hostages and Hancock's good work.

So instead of showing Hancock doing more heroic things, they cut to Will Smith trying to be an alien, yeah I'm tossing the pretense, he's an alien that was cloned into this world with kin and he lost his kid, so now Hancock has to somehow figure out what living in this world is like and assimilate into society. Anyhow we're here in an eating establishment, that's supposed to have impertinence, not sure why, but there's a ton of people that know about them going out to eat in celebration of the victory they've had.

No one's gonna talking about how Hancock was let out of jail or what his definitive plan is for being let out or in general why the government is okay with Hancock just being in LA and not help the USA in any conflict. Nope, gotta have a dinner (with wine, since that's not something of a vice that Hancock was trying to move away from) and talk about the characters that aren't really that interesting.

It seems Miami is where Will Smith is from and something happened to him, I like the reference. Not sure what happened to himself, why he did this or why he's powerful. He doesn't even really know who he is, though he was gonna see a Frankenstein film and was chewing bubble gum. He's 80 plus years old, since he doesn't age or at the pace of the rest of us. It's interesting they're going with the classic amnesia act, it's really cliche, though it's a great way to have a character figuratively or literally come out of nowhere. Okay, so the eye that Will Smith has been giving the wife has advanced and he tries to kiss her after she feels uncomfortable, then throws him through the house. Fridge and all right into a car. It seems that the wife has been giving a different stare toward him, one of caution and danger, that she'd be found out, not as lovers from the past, but as a being like Hancock. She threatens Hancock that Ray can't find out about her being amazingly powerful, a Superwoman if you will.

The next morning, Hancock and Angel start to talk with each other about what's going on and he tests her out that she's like him, it's a weird cartoony way of doing so, but it did push her into them talking and learning more about where he came from or what happened in Miami. Angel comes to the trailer that's in the middle of nowhere and tells Hancock that she's stronger than him and she knows it. We also get to see what's in the tin case, it's the ticket (that doesn't look like it aged a minute) and the gum wrapper. He asks what he is, it seems that Angel came from a whole race of people that were "Gods, Angels, whatever culture wanted to call them" it seems that Angel and Hancock did share a kiss she was down with, then remembered that they were brother and sister in a way. A lot of things are confusing, though they start to wrestle as they fly to Ray so somehow he can sort things out. Again not really sure why Ray is so pinnacle to this movie.

Ray is pitching his All Heart thing again, it's horrible. Then LA is being destroyed by Angel and Hancock, it seems that they were lovers, but Hancock doesn't remember her at all. Crazy is her trigger as asshole is Hancock's trigger. Then in downtown LA there's a storm being created by Angel to fight Hancock, it's weird since she can control the elements around her, she twice heated up a room, which shows that her emotion is apart of her power. Though this is weird, is she Superwoman or Storm?

Hancock and Angel is husband and wife in the past. They are fated to each other, they will always find and love each other no matter how long or how far apart. It's like Hawkman and Hawkgirl, just with Superman like powers. Though she's like Storm with Wonder Woman's powers or that one time Storm grabbed the hammer of Thor.

Then Hancock goes to a gas station for a drink, it might not have been booze, but he was going to get something, then he stopped two crooks from robbing the place. At the dinner they talked that he got his head cracked open and it healed. Now he's shot and is bleeding to death from the bullets. Hancock is becoming mortal, it seems that once Angel and Hancock are farther to each other the more powerful they become. They're fated to find each other, but if they get close they lose their power, then become mortal and get to love each other. Time and time again Hancock has tried to help her and save her, but people didn't want them to be together, by the sound of a lot of the stories it's because of his race. Their love is so pure, so strong that she left him to allow him to be super to be stronger than he could with her. Hancock was built to be a hero, he was made to love her and help mankind, though he'd not be able to have both.

Then the bad guys come into the hospital and shoot Angel, then Hancock, who then starts taking them down. It's weird how their powers work, is it distance or is it like Red Sun on Superman, where his powers gradually leave. They feel each other's pain (or the filmmaker is showing their similarities within the scene), it's hard for them since they know it's each other's life, each other's death, each of them needs to be further apart for the other to live. Standing with just a breath of air left and on the verge of death, Hancock with blood covering his body and dripping from every bullet hole or knife wound, he walks toward the man he took's hand. As he's being shot down the hall he get's closer to him, closer and wetter, since the sprinkler system is on, drenching the wing as the villain gives his speech. Hancock is on his knees, too tired, too drained to be able to harm him, as Angel is dying on the bed feet away from him. Then Ray cuts off the man's other hand,  before he gets a chance to kill Hancock, then jabs an axe into him. Both Hancock and Angel are dead, it seems. Both are in a state of movement that resembles a corpse, then they open their eyes. Hancock gets off the ground and starts walking again. He pushes himself to a location, through the rain, through the pain, out a window, slamming into buses, though then gives them enough distance that they both come back to life, that they both become stronger, that they bring back their health to whole as Hancock makes the final leap away from Angel to save her and her family.

One Month passes

Ray is still with Angel and talks about her past, it seems he's more okay with her being an amazing person than before. Though he wasn't mad at her for not being who she was, he was mad at her for not telling him that, accepts that his wife is awesome and moves on. It seems Hancock is in NYC now while Angel is in LA, also the Moon is a giant heart, it's Ray's All Heart idea on the Moon (why would anyone disgrace the Moon is such a horrible manner?!). Not sure what that does for Ray, since it is weird, also Hancock has a bird with him, not sure why, then does the whole Batman thing and glides down to the street, flying off into the Manhattan midtown. Ending the movie on a moment that's not good nor bad, just ends.

Also there's a scene after a few credits that show a guy that takes a hostage in Time Square, which is surprisingly empty, unless it's 2am or 3am though there are tons of people in the streets there at this time. Then the crook calls Hancock an asshole, meaning that man is going to see the inside of someone's colon. So it all ends on a joke that began the film.

Gom showing the office the VarpMun (and amazing Photoshop skills), is a special way to travel.
Keep pitching that crazy machine you... crazy little machine.

I really like the way it ended, the third act was amazing, though it felt kinda out of nowhere since there wasn't really any foreshadowing except the drawings in the cell talking about another person and why would anyone start drinking other than to forget or sooth a broken heart. Still it was a film that I'd see again only on TV, but it's not really anything more than a one watch film. I really felt they could have pushed a lot of things more, that they could have explored so much, but didn't pace the movie out well with just 1 hour 25 minutes since there's credits it had it's moments, though could have been so much better with a really great cast. I can't complain about the acting, since there wasn't any person in this film that couldn't act, it was filled with a talented crew, from the extras to the stars, this was very well preformed, it was the writing and directing that were shaky on this part of the feature. This was a great attempt to make a Superhero film from an original idea, but without someone that's familiar with the genre or with Superhero comics it became a hodgepodge of good ideas. Many times it feels that the film was supposed to go in a different direction, personally I would have liked it better if it explored the character Hancock and shown more of his past, either by stories or in the visual media. If you like Superhero movies, this is one of them, it's not perfect, but it's a light watch if you need noise in the background.

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